I used to hate small talk. Like what a waste of time, engaging in meaningless exchanges with strangers about mundane things like the weather or how their day is going. I genuinely could not have cared less about what they were saying. And I preferred to just stand there quietly, deep in thought, rather than to connect with someone, even for a few moments.
However in the last month, this has entirely changed. I have been staying at my mom’s condo for the last few weeks while she was away on vacation. I was plant-sittting, but mostly milking the amenities like the pool, the gym, the balcony and the fact that it’s steps away from the Rideau river pathway. Not to mention, I am currently
unemployed, I mean Funemployed (as my girlfriend Danika would say), which means that I have so much time to really enjoy all these wonderful things.
Funny enough, one of the things that I have enjoyed the most about living in that condo building has been the little daily interactions with the people in the elevator, in the lobby and in the pool.
Another moment that stands out to me is when I was driving to my brother’s last week. While driving around his neighborhood, I noticed a woman walking her large, blond golden retriever. All of a sudden, the dog gets down on its belly in a huge, muddy puddle, wagging it’s tail. It rolled around in the water for a few seconds, before looking up at its owner, happy eyes, tongue dangling and tail wagging even harder than before. The woman looked down at the dog and shrugged her shoulders.
I burst out laughing.
Alone in my car, I had the most heart filled, belly laugh I have had in a long time.
Small talk. Small things.
They say life is made up of little moments. I have heard/read that a million times, thinking “ya, ya, I know”. Enjoy the small things. Be in the present. Heck I even have a tattoo on my neck that reads “Ici et maintenant” (Here and Now).
Even getting that idea permanently written on my body could not make me live by it. It had to come naturally and genuinely. And in the last month, it finally has.
I find myself fully taking in the moments. Breathing in the fresh air. Hearing the birds sing. Feeling the wind on my face and in my hair. Genuinely listening to someone talk. Looking them in the eyes. Savoring my food.
It’s like I’ve finally landed in my body, fully present.
I think that I am able to be more present now because I am no longer so caught up in my thoughts. In fact, a lot of aspects of my life are finally “falling into place”.
I am so grateful that I have started to heal enough to start noticing such big changes in my life. Or rather, to notice all the little things in my life 🙏